Switcharoo
by iguanablogger
Summary: Okay, so maybe everyone was a little drunk the night they pulled off the invasion of the Palazzo della Seta. And maybe, Ezio and Rosa exchanged some words they shouldn't have. But when they wake up in each others' bodies, only chaos can unfold! ExR humor
1. Prologue

Do the switcharoo!

"Another round, my friends, another round!"

The cry was met with cheers and laughter as the already flustered thieves prepared to consume even more alcohol. It hadn't taken the guild long to move itself from the rotting shack of a hideout in San Polo to the impressive Seta, which they had already begun ransacking. And now the thieves sat around its once-noble marble courtyard, drinking and congratulating themselves on the death of Emilio Barbarigo, tyrant of Venezia.

Only a small group of four seemed somewhat more sober than the rest, though they were quite relaxed. Seta's beautiful courtyard had been easily transformed into an outdoor tavern, with booths and tables for all. The four sat under a torch, lounging in their chairs peacefully. The rowdiest one, much to the others' amusement, happened to be the guild's mastermind of a leader- Antonio.

"Don't be shy, Ugo!" He hiccupped, slapping the curly-haired boy to his right on the shoulder, "Have another drink!"

Ugo sighed, but smiled somewhat.

"I've never seen Antonio get so wasted," The woman across from them remarked slyly, tapping her fingers on the counter, "I wish there were a way to capture the image."

"True," The man beside her grinned, spreading his scarred lips amusedly, "But it seems a bit early to get yourself kicked out of the guild, Rosa."

"Shut up," She snorted.

"Why won't you people celebrate?" Antonio laughed, slapping his hands on the table excitedly, "The markets are finally free! We have accomplished something wonderful tonight, _amici!" _

"Wonderful indeed," Ezio gurgled, taking a sip from his mug casually, "I can't wait to see the hangovers tomorrow…"

"I'd be careful there, Ezio," Ugo smirked, "You've drunk quite a bit yourself."

"Ugo, please," Ezio smirked right back, flipping his bangs smugly, "I think a nobleman like myself is much more experienced at holding his liquor than a group of mismatched-thieves; no offense…"

"It's fine, Ezio," Rosa rolled her eyes, sighing heavily, "We merely assume everything you have to say if offensive."

Ezio turned, raising his eyebrows at her but saying nothing. Instead he merely took another sip of his drink. For a few moments, the group drank in happy silence, content to let it be filled with the snorts and giggles of the drunken thieves around them.

"Well, I believe I am beginning to feel quite light-headed," Antonio grunted, climbing unsteadily to his feet, "I think I'll turn in for tonight…"

"Good luck making it upstairs, Antonio!" Rosa called sweetly as her mentor stumbled off.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be, Ugo?" Ezio asked nonchalantly, almost challenging.

"And leave you and Rosa alone together?" The curly-haired thief tutted, "I'm not a _complete _idiot, _Assassino._"

"Oh, go away, Ugo," Rosa smiled, leaning back in her chair tiredly; "I want to see what he has planned."

"What?" Ugo gasped, feigning shock, "You don't want me to glorify you with my very presence?"

"I think I'm already doing a fine job of that," Ezio grinned.

"That would be your ego, Ezio," Ugo replied flatly, "_You _is referring to another person entirely."

"Please, Ugo," Rosa laughed, "I'll be up in a few minutes!"

"Fine," The thief muttered, standing. Apparently the party had ended when Antonio had staggered up the steps, because the courtyard was suddenly less full. Ugo took note of this as he made his way up, cursing Ezio all the way for his cleverness and charm.

"And so here we are," Ezio yawned, relaxing more in the small chair that had been brought out from Seta's inner corridors, "Aren't you going to congratulate me?"

"On what?" Rosa asked, turning glittering emerald eyes on him curiously.

"On a perfect assassination, of course," Ezio replied, resting his cheek on his palm casually in his effort to get comfortable.

"Please," Rosa muttered, "we did all the work."

"Oh?" Ezio raised his eyebrows- the green-capped thief flinched somewhat at his tone. He knew she was kidding…right?

"Who cleared the guards? Who gathered the information? Who freed the thieves Emilio had managed to imprison? Who stole the boats for the assault? Hm?"

"Ezio…" Rosa frowned, noting his flushed cheeks as well. Clearly the man was drunk, but it was difficult not to hold his actions against him. "I was joking- no need to get upset."

"Clearly," The Assassin snorted, "I'm used to working on my own as it is. Why bother changing anyway?"

"Stop it," Rosa gritted, "We work together- we do equal amounts. You wouldn't have been able to get into Seta without us, and we wouldn't have been able to free Venezia without you. Simple."

"There's a lot more to this than just Seta, Rosa!" Ezio growled, "This was just one tiny victory, and yet your guild thinks we have just won the war!"

"That's it," Rosa pushed herself away from the table, standing, "You are sick with wine, Ezio, and I think it's time you went to sleep."

"Why won't you listen?" Ezio shouted in frustration, jumping to his feet as well, "This was just _one _district! If we're going to free the other ones, we need to-"

"Ezio!" Rosa cut him off- though she was shorter than him, she seemed to buzz with anger like a wasp, "Shut the fuck up and go to sleep!"

"I am telling you because I want you to help me, Rosa," He said quietly, brown eyes attempting to focus on her through a mist, "Like you said, I cannot do this on my own."

"You're drunk, Ezio," Rosa muttered, flicking a stray piece of hair in annoyance, "You're not making sense. Whatever you want can certainly wait until _tomorrow._" And with that she turned to march up the stairs to the rooms prepared in the Palazzo's inner chambers.

"_Bene_," She heard Ezio call out, "Don't help me. Why would I need help from a thief like you…?"

Rosa paused, fists balling slowly. Ezio grinned stupidly, glad to capture her attention.

"A thief, mind you…" He hesitated deliberately, drawing out the conclusion, "…who happens to be a _woman." _

"_Bene_," Rosa turned, eyeing him with burning hatred, "Go ahead then- get lost! Surely you don't need a _woman's _help, as you're clearly too much of a _man!" _

And with that she finally stormed upstairs and didn't turn back. Rosa blew into her room and slammed the door shut, hardly caring who she woke. She tore off her boots and slammed onto her bed, squeezing her eyes shut and willing the nausea to go down. She hadn't had _that _much to drink…had she?

Ezio eventually stumbled off to bed as well, deciding to take Antonio up on his offer of a room for the night.

But as both Assassin and thief drifted off to sleep, cursing each others' names in their dreams- neither could've possibly guessed what chaos would unfold the very next morning…


	2. Morning

_AN- more to come soon, let me know what you think!_

Ezio awoke with a headache. It was to be expected, he supposed, as he groaned and flipped over in his bed, burying his head deeper into his pillow. However just in this one act, he realized something was wrong. Looking around, nothing _seemed _off… He was still in his room in Seta since last night's 'party'…But…Was it a trick of the light, or did everything seem somewhat lower? As he peeled back his covers slowly and slipped out of bed, he couldn't help but notice his skin was slightly paler...and softer. What on Earth…? Could it have been the wine?

To confirm his suspicions, Ezio slowly wandered over to the mirror on the right side of his room…Another oddity, as he recalled clearly that his current room had no such thing…Then again, perhaps he had been drunker than he thought.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight- Peering in the glass, it was Rosa's cap-less face he saw.

"Wha-? Rosa? What are you-" He slapped a hand over his mouth in shock- and nearly shrieked when Rosa did the same. The voice he spoke with was clearly not his own! Somehow, overnight, his deep drawl had been replaced with Rosa's light, curious tone.

"…Rosa?" He asked hesitantly, but it was clear he was not speaking to the thief. He was speaking to his reflection…Which just happened to be Rosa's face!

"What the hell?" He hissed, still surprised to find Rosa's voice cursing aloud. How had this happened? Overnight, he had somehow been transported into the body of a woman?

Wait-

In horror, Ezio's now olive colored eyes darted down to his chest. In truth, he did feel a little different there… With trembling hands, his much thinner fingers began to undo the buttons of his blouse.

And all of Seta was awakened by a blood-curling scream.

Rosa groaned when the shriek pierced her ears. She removed her pillow from the bed and ducked under it, bringing the soft case behind her tender head. What in hell could girls be screaming about this early in the morning, she wanted to know.

When it was clear the scream was not allowing her to get back to sleep, Rosa decided she would simply need to wake up. Cursing, she pulled herself up and managed to scramble into a sitting position despite her throbbing head. However she noted her voice sounded odd- lower and deeper than usual…Perhaps she was catching something?

As she climbed out of bed, though, things just kept getting weirder. For one thing, her head was nearly scraping the ceiling of the small room. She appreciated the fact that people sometimes had growth spurts overnight, but no one rocketed a foot straight up! She tensed as a wave of claustrophobia suddenly set in.

To quell her growing discomfort, Rosa opted to reach for the cap she knew was on her bed-stand. She groaned when her palm did not meet with the soothing green flannel and fished around for it with her oddly ham sized hands. _Cristo, _had she mutated into a giant overnight?

Also, why on earth was she so tan?

Wait- Rosa paused, studying her gigantic limbs suspiciously. She glanced down to her chest and nearly screamed. Something was clearly missing!

"_Che cazzo?" _Rosa gasped, pressing her callused palms over her body frantically, "What the hell happened to me?"

She hiccupped at the voice and slapped her hands over her mouth immediately. Rosa knew she might be a little low in the mornings, but that voice did _NOT _belong to her!

"…Ezio? Is this a joke?" She laughed nervously- and her stomach dropped when Ezio's voice asked the same question, in the same tone. She glanced around anxiously for a mirror, and cursed when she realized his room didn't have one.

_In that case, _she gulped, _There IS one way to make sure… _

Rosa gulped loudly and looked down at her pants, which appeared to be all she was wearing. Shaking slightly, she undid the tie and the fabric fell down around her knees.

"_Oh Dio…" _


	3. Survive

"This is some sort of dream," Ezio (Rosa) whispered to him(her)self in terror as he paced around Rosa's room, clutching her green cap with white knuckles, "A really bad nightmare."

"Rosa?" Ugo's panicked call came muffled through the door. Ezio slapped himself immediately- the scream! No doubt that drew attention! The anxious footsteps halted outside the door and the thief's fists pounded loudly on it. Naturally, Ugo must've learned some time ago not to barge into Rosa's room uninvited.

"Uh- I'm fine, Ugo!" Ezio called out nervously, eyes widening, "Nothing happened!"

The pounding stopped a moment, and he cringed imagining Ugo's worried expression, "Are you sure? Why did you scream?"

D'oh! Ezio slapped his forehead again and set to thinking. What would possibly make Rosa scream this early in the morning…?

"I…I…" He gulped, hesitating. Dammit! Of all the women he could've turned into, why did it have to be the fearless amazon?

"Rosa?" Ugo repeated her name, more urgent.

"What, Ugo?" Ezio gasped to hear his own voice a floor lower. He lifted his hand to his dropped jaw as he realized…if he had turned into Rosa, Rosa had most certainly turned into him! And it's only natural that she would respond to Ugo's nervous calls…

Ugo apparently misunderstood- which made sense under the circumstances. He dashed away from the door and leaned against the balcony, down to wear Ezio stood waiting in the courtyard.

"Ezio!" He shouted, "Come quick! Something's happened to Rosa!"

The Assassin's eyebrows shot up.

"What could that _bastardo _possibly be doing to me?" Rosa muttered as she vaulted up Seta's pillars- a shortcut to the second floor.

"Really, Ugo, there's no need to worry!" Rosa's voice came through the door, oozing forced cheer, "I…simply hit my foot against the dresser!"

Rosa rolled her eyes and muttered another curse under her breath. Not even a gullible child would believe _that _lie. Judging by Ugo's skeptical glare, he didn't buy it either.

"…Are you sure?" Ugo called one more time, now more suspicious than worried.

"Er…yes!" Rosa's voice replied, "Uh, just give me a moment- I'll be out soon, Ugo!"

The curly haired thief was clearly lost, but decided to give Rosa the space she needed.

"If you say so," He said slowly, "I'll come back in a few minutes to check on you, though."

"Please, Ugo, you worry like an old lady," Ezio (Rosa) huffed as he (she) blew past him towards the door.

Ugo decided to ignore that remark, "Where are you going, Ezio?"

"Eh?" Rosa turned a moment- then she understood. To Ugo, this must look a little odd- the Assassin returning to her room this early for seemingly no reason…and hardly dressed to, wearing only his pants and under-tunic…

"Oh, um, Rosa asked me to talk to her about something this morning…" Rosa tried to pull off one of those trademark 'I'm Ezio Auditore And I Don't Care About Anything' shrugs, but it didn't seem to be coming.

Ugo still seemed tense- who could blame him?

"_Bene,_ But don't think I didn't hear you two last night," He growled, "You'd better watch your step around here, _Assassino. _One more wrong move towards her…"

Rosa frowned, genuinely confused. The haze of drunkenness prevented her from remembering clearly what exactly had happened last night…Had Ezio said something offensive to her? She couldn't recall…

Ugo sighed hopelessly at her expression and merely shoved past her.

"Asshole," she heard him mutter.

As soon as she was certain Ugo was out of earshot, Rosa tapped her door lightly.

"Ezio," She whispered anxiously through the wood, "Let me in- we need to talk."

Rosa waited patiently outside, tapping her foot quickly. She hated Ezio's boots- the things were huge and pinched the toes of her feet. Not to mention the added weight on her heels made it hard to run. How did that frilly noble get around so fast?

"Here, come in, quickly," She snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of her own voice. There was a click as the door unlocked and Rosa snuck in.

She gasped, still not used to seeing the world at Ezio's height. Rosa looked down at herself oddly…she frowned. Was she really that small compared to him?

"Rosa?" The woman whispered anxiously. The nobleman nodded.

"So, that's you, Ezio?" she couldn't help the smirk, "Why, but you're so small!"

"Shut up," Ezio snarled, "I'm trying to accustom myself to the body of a midget."

Rosa merely rolled her golden eyes- trying to refocus herself on the problem at hand.

"So…" She began timidly, "I guess it's real than…You're stuck in my body…And I'm stuck in yours."

Ezio blinked, and Rosa noted her eyes were a beautiful emerald shade.

"How did this happen to us?" He moaned, slapping his forehead, "I may enjoy the _company _of a woman, but I never wanted to actually BE one!"

"Do you think it's any more enjoyable waking up as a man?" Rosa asked flatly, "Not to mention you hardly slept with any clothes on, _puttana._"

Ezio had to admit he would never have imagined the day his own voice cursed him.

"Nevermind, Rosa," he shook his head, "We're going to need to stay focused if we're going to find a way out of this mess."

"We don't even know how we got INTO this mess!" Rosa cried.

"…Perhaps it was something we drank?" Ezio suggested helpfully.

Rosa shook her head, "No, Ugo thinks I'm you."

Ezio sighed, "Yes, and he wants to talk to me later. What do you and Ugo usually talk about, anyway?"

"Nevermind that, what am I supposed to do with you? I'm not an Assassin. And you _never _tell me where you go when you take off!"

For a moment the two merely took a seat on the bed and sighed, pondering their misfortune in despair. The depressive silence dragged on, smothering the two as they sat there trying desperately to come up with a solution to a problem they couldn't possibly understand.

"Maybe…" Ezio began, hope lingering in his voice like a faint breeze, "It's only a one-day thing…?"

"What do you mean?" Rosa asked, looking down on herself curiously.

"…Perhaps if we just survive this one day as each other, it will reverse by tomorrow…"

She thought about that, watched over the whole time by Ezio's unflinching green gaze. Then she sighed and shook her head.

"As much as it revolts me to say it," she said, voice heavy with dread, "I think you're right. I'm just going to have to live a day…being you."

"Glad to hear it, Rosa," Ezio responded flatly, "Now, if you'll please get out and put some clothes on me? I look like an idiot."

Rosa grinned and hopped off the bed. She couldn't help but reply;

"Yes, and we wouldn't want anyone to know your little secret, wouldn't we?" She chuckled. She hardly heard Ezio mutter a curse as she closed the door.

Ezio groaned as he struggled with Rosa's simple shoes. The ties were always coming loose, and it was such a pain to keep knotting them again. Honestly, why didn't she just have buckles like a normal person?

"Rosa!" His head swiveled at Ugo's call, alert. He gulped- he'd forgotten all about the little meeting earlier…

His mind raced for an excuse as the curly- haired thief jogged over.

"Are you feeling better since this morning, Rosa?" He blurted, point blank. Ezio swallowed and nodded.

"Yes, much," he said uneasily, "Thanks for…um…checking on me, Ugo."

It was clear the man had to fight to keep his jaw locked, although Ezio reckoned bulging eyes were not a positive sign that he was keeping Rosa's character in check. He moaned inwardly, now that the answer was coming in- Rosa doesn't show gratitude. As he recalled, her form of gratitude was constant abuse.

Ugo must have been thinking the same thing, "Are you _sure_?"

"Of course, you _stronzo, _now stop bugging me!" Ezio coughed out quickly. Ugo seemed to relax slightly- okay, round one over.

"It's Ezio, isn't it?" He shook his head.

"Wh-what?" He gasped, green eyes widening. Could he possibly know about-

"Come with me, Rosa," Ugo pulled on his hand and before Ezio could do anything he and Ugo were walking along the streets of Venice, heading for a nice bench with a view of the harbor. Dazed, he let himself be sat down on the bench.

"Ugo, what do you mean 'is it Ezio'?" He asked suspiciously.

"Oh please," Ugo rolled his eyes, "You think I hadn't noticed? He's obviously attracted to you."

"_I am not!" _Ezio blurted immediately, then nearly jammed his fist in his mouth. Okay, that was out of order, but he had to say something. He wouldn't deny that Rosa was an attractive woman, but his advances had been casual. Slick, hard to pin down gestures and movements…For Ugo to be able to pick him out so quickly was nearly an insult to his technique!

Apparently, the thief had misheard over the waves and seagulls- which Ezio was infinitely grateful for.

"Yes, he is," Ugo nodded solemnly. Ezio flinched as he felt someone snake their fingers around his. "Rosa…"

He turned, fighting hard to keep the nervousness out of his expression. What was that curly-haired boy thinking? A part of the Assassin deep down felt a small sting of jealousy- what had Rosa and Ugo been doing behind his back? Frantic olive eyes met serious gray.

"I heard what he said last night," Ugo began, glaring at him, "And I know he can be a real slut at times-"

Ezio bit his tongue to stop the defenses from pouring out.

"-And I want you to know," the grip on his hand tightened, "if he does _anything _to hurt you, you can come straight to me."

He blinked. Is _THAT _what this was about? Ugo was offering Rosa protection she wouldn't need? Ugo blinked back uncertainly, and Ezio realized it was his cue. Playing right along, he stared into Ugo's deep gray eyes, hoping to give off the feeling of utter respect and caring.

"Thank you, Ugo," He said quietly, "But you needn't worry. I think I can handle a beautiful, talented, and courageous noble myself." He smiled inwardly- alright, so maybe he just couldn't help himself when it came to describing his attractiveness.

Ugo laughed easily, mistaking Ezio's self-appraisal for sarcasm.

"True, true," the thief stood, "Alright, we'd better be getting back to Seta. Antonio's probably looking for you already."

"If he ever recovered from last night, that is," Ezio remarked dryly. Glancing up at the sun as the two proceeded on to the thieves' latest hideout, he judged it to be nearly noon. He wondered what mischief Rosa was up to while in his body…

As they entered the courtyard, Ugo touched his arm for a moment.

"Antonio's up there," he said, pointing to a door at the top of a staircase, "he's converted that drawing room to his new office."

Ezio nodded, and took a few steps forward.

"Oh, and Rosa?" He turned, slightly annoyed at the thief's persistence.

"Just…remember what I said, alright?" Ugo asked quietly. Ezio nodded again, and this time flashed a small smile. Isn't that what girls did when they were satisfied?

And with that, the two went their separate ways. Ezio made his way up the stairs, and Ugo slipped through a door on the first level, heading into a room filled with his moaning brothers.


	4. New shoes to fill

Rosa cursed as yet another one of her boot buckles snapped off. She moved herself to an unused corner of the busy Venetian walkway and crouched down, fixing the piece of footwear irritably.

It was nearly noon, and she had been walking around all day. Rosa didn't like it one bit- she wanted to go back to the Thieves' guild, where she belonged. But after it had been made clear she'd been there for quite a while, her brothers became suspicious of her. After all, Ezio never did stay at the guild for long- he always seemed to have somewhere else to be…

And where that somewhere else was, Rosa had no clue.

So she stood back up, brushing off the heavy noblemans clothes and continued her aimless wandering. She hated the hood- it made it near impossible to see anything. She made a point to ask Ezio how he functioned with it, but that would have to be something for later. She passed several posters nailed to everything that didn't fly off with the wind- all of them announcing the reward for Ezio's (now _her) _capture. And the former thief couldn't help shuddering when she passed the heralds, who took the liberty of informing the populace of the Assassin's hideous crimes. _Bastards; all of them, _she thought bitterly…but inside- that's what she'd always loved about working with a group of thieves. She remained anonymous. Apparently, Ezio had no such luxury. _Probably thanks to his own ego, _she mused.

Finally tired of walking, Rosa reckoned it was time for a short break. She parked her now giant-like body on the end of a bench and relaxed, drumming her fingers casually on the stone.

"What now…?" She asked herself dryly, only wishing she knew the answer.

Apparently, she'd never heard the phrase 'careful what you wish for'.

"That hood…Does that look familiar to you?" The curious remark of a distant guard hardly captured her attention, as she never wore a hood.

"And that cloak…horribly unfashionable," another voice snickered.

"I've seen him somewhere before…" The voices grew closer, and suddenly Rosa realized they were talking about _her_.

"Excuse us, _signore!" _She immediately stood from the bench and began shuffling off in her too-tight boots, desperate to get away. Rosa had never been caught before, and she wasn't about to start now.

"We just want to talk!" The guards persisted, and from the edges of her senses she could tell they were picking up their pace.

Rosa swallowed, cursing again. If she stopped and allowed them to see her face, no doubt they would put two and two together, thanks to those posters. But if she broke into a run they would pursue immediately, probably with backup. And while fighting in this ridiculous body was hardly appealing, free-running in it sounded just plain repulsive.

But in the end, Rosa decided it'd be better just to live with the discomfort than not live at all.

She broke into a run.

"That's him! Get him!"

Swords unsheathed and the footsteps picked up, but Rosa was gone by then. Luckily, she knew these streets inside out- she took a sharp turn into an alleyway, where she knew a ladder waited at the far end. However there was one thing she hadn't counted on…

After she had rounded the corner she tried to continue down the alley, but something yanked her back. Faintly, she heard an odd ripping noise.

"What the hell?" She hissed, whirling around.

She blinked twice upon finding the source of the problem. The long brown cloak covering her left flank had been skewered by a nail jutting out of the alley wall. Rosa tugged at it, trying to rip the fabric to get free, but the cloak was clearly made of tougher stuff.

She was stuck.

"Curse that idiot and his frilly clothes!" She shrieked, clawing at the nail in pure rage. She swore she'd kill him when she got out of this one. In the mean time however, those armored footsteps were getting louder…

Finally, Rosa decided she'd had enough. She yanked one of Ezio's daggers from his sash and sliced the tip of the cloak clean off, leaving a very untidy edge in the garment. Growling, she stormed off, sprinting down the alley.

"There! I see him!" Unfortunately, prying herself off the wall had cost her valuable seconds as by now the guards had caught up and were about a hair's breadth behind her.

The alley was narrow, so the patrol was forced to chase her in single file, but she'd wasted too much time already, and she couldn't run nearly as fast with all the weight she wasn't used to.

So when the guard hurled himself at her in full force, she went down like a rock.

"Argh!" She yelled, thrashing about under the man like a fish out of water, "Get off me!"

"_Capitano! _I got him!" The guard reported breathlessly, using every ounce of his strength to keep Rosa pinned down.

_This is not going to happen, _Rosa despaired inwardly, _not like this! _

Then she remembered the devices strapped to her wrists… In the few seconds she had before the rest of the patrol caught up, she eyed them suspiciously. She also found, after a short, split-second test, that Ezio was much stronger than herself. He probably _was _capable of throwing this guy off.

Struggling, she managed to get one arm free- she rolled to one side, taking the guard with her. In an attempt to regain control, he grabbed her wrists- which is when she activated the blades.

The guard screamed in pain as the blades cut through the arteries on his arms, spurting blood everywhere. Rosa took the opportunity to sink another blade into his chest, finishing him off.

She climbed to her feet shakily and pressed onward to the ladder. She made it just as the patrol caught up to the body she'd left behind.

Rosa reflected on the events that had just transpired on her way to the guild, which she decided she would never leave again unless she knew where she was going. If this was what Ezio's life was like constantly, she decided she was incredibly fortunate not to be him.

Rosa was relieved to find herself waiting at Seta's gates. At the sight of her, Ezio's eyes went wide and he gasped. Rosa didn't blame him- she was smothered with blood.

"Nice of you to tell me you're wanted across the entire city, _idiota,_" She muttered, brushing past the immobilized thief.

"My cape!" Ezio cried out in despair, "My beautiful cloak! What have you done to it?"

Rosa blinked. Then she turned stupidly to stare at her left flank- indeed, the fabric was mangled and torn every which way- hardly what it looked like when she'd received it this morning. Quickly, her embarrassment turned to anger:

"Surely even you can figure out that if you wear expensive clothing while assassinating, _something _is going to get ruined!" She sputtered.

Ezio shook his head sadly, "…You have no class, Rosa. I have an _appearance _to keep up! You are going to ruin my reputation!"

"Yes, because there's an awful lot to ruin," She replied flatly.

"Nevermind, nevermind," Ezio groaned and turned to walk up the stairs, motioning for Rosa to follow, "I'll just have to replace the cloak later."

The two climbed to the second floor and headed into Rosa's room, making sure they were alone before continuing the conversation.

"So, what have you been doing all day?" Ezio asked her anxiously, "I don't usually get that dirty…"

"I didn't do anything," Rosa shrugged, "Some people on the street recognized you. There was a chase, in which your stupid dress nearly got me caught."

"_robe,_" Ezio corrected through gritted teeth.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you when I returned;" Rosa continued, serious now, "Where are you supposed to be today? Where I am I supposed to be going?"

Ezio raised an eyebrow, "I am an Assassin. What do you _think _you should be doing?"

Rosa shook her head, "I wasn't cut out for this, _bastardo. _I don't like it one little bit. I want to go back to cutting purses and running rooftops."

"You think this is any easier for me?" Ezio sighed wistfully, "I was taught my entire childhood that stealing is wrong. Especially when these people have done nothing to deserve such misfortune."

"Nonsense," Rosa snorted, "It's easy for you- you've been spoiled since you were born."

For the second time that day, the two sat in miserable silence. After a fair amount of moping and sighing, Ezio gave in.

"Look," he said, glancing up at Rosa with tired green eyes, "There's a pigeon coop south of the San Marco docks. Do you know where it is?"

Rosa nodded uncertainly.

"Go to it," Ezio continued, "Inside you'll find a speckled white bird with a red ribbon on its ankle. Pick it up and read the message attached- that will tell you what I was supposed to do today."

"Why don't you just tell me now?" Rosa suggested.

"Because I don't know." He replied honestly.

"So, everyday is an adventure with you?" Ezio now knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of one of his famed skeptic glares. He laughed lightly.

"I suppose," he nodded, "Better than here. Don't you ever get bored of such routine?"

Rosa shrugged, "Routine is alright with me if it means survival. Although if you're getting bored, I'm sure Antonio and I could arrange something…" She smiled mischievously.

"No, thank you," Ezio raised his palms in defense, "At least stealing is something I learned to do when I was a teenager. You don't know the first thing about assassination, do you, Rosa?"

Rosa frowned, "What do you have to know? You find the guy, stab him, and run off, no?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that," he chuckled, "though you seem to grasp the concept."

"I'll just find the easiest job there," Rosa rolled her eyes, "It can't be _that _hard."

"I'll hold you to that," Ezio grinned, "Now, I'd like to show you how to use my little friends here, so you don't end up getting me killed."

It took a while for her to get used to having so many extra weapons in such accessible places, but soon Rosa found she rather liked it. As she and Ezio parted, she even felt somewhere that, perhaps, being the Assassin wasn't as horrible as she'd first figured.

Rosa headed down to the docks to search for the pigeon coop, and Ezio went off with a group of thieves to the old hideout to clean out anything they might've left during the transition. Neither could be less suited for the jobs at hand, so it was clear this would be the biggest test of improvision either had faced in a long time…

_AN- last update in a while, sorry ^^; ... The holiday of Sukkot starts up again Wednesday evening, and I don't want to rush any of my work (or it'll turn out quite illiterate...). Next update will be either saturday or sunday night, hopefully. _

_Thank you for your patience and support!_

_-iguana_


	5. Improvision

Ezio cursed as yet another roof tile slipped from its cemented place and tumbled down to the Earth below. He grunted as he scrabbled up the failing building quickly, desperate to get back on top before the structure gave way completely.

Securing his stance on the Venice rooftop, he turned back to his worried companions and gave a reassuring nod. But as soon as they turned their backs he let out a rattled sigh. That was the fourth jump he'd missed in just ten minutes- it was obvious he'd been slowing the group down. It's just that… Rosa's limbs were so much shorter than what he was used to… Suddenly it was as though half his reach had been pulled away- rooftops scooted farther from him the moment his feet should've been pounding solidly on them.

Not to mention he hardly even _knew _the way to the old Thieves' guild building… Ezio shook himself and gathered his courage, preparing to follow the group of thieves he'd set out with.

But, unfortunately for our befuddled Assassin, he failed to detect the grinning shadow that set to following him as it folded up its spyglass- which had just followed the sliding roof-tile with immense pleasure…

The place was as old and ratty as Ezio remembered it being, despite only being there a month at best. Inwardly, he was quite glad the thieves had managed to make the glorious Seta their new home… as a home was what they desperately needed.

"_Bene_," Heraldo, the most experienced thief there (and leader of the group) announced with a clap of his hands, "Federico and Paolo, you two go head over to the quarters and see if anyone left any spare change to take back. Rosa, you come with me- we'll investigate _ser _Antonio's office."

Ezio nodded firmly and waved off the two novice thieves as they split. He followed Rosa's current superior into the broken office, where most things had been left untouched. Ezio smiled at his fellow Assassin's carelessness- papers and documents littered the desk and floor, books were tipping nonchalantly from their cases- even his model of the San Polo district was left out, the wooden buildings collecting a thin layer of dust.

"I see we have much to do here," Heraldo sighed, shaking his head.

Ezio agreed silently and the two set to work.

The first thing they started on was Antonio's grand (for a thief master, anyway) bookcase. While he'd piled most of the scripts out and carted them off to Seta himself, he'd clearly forgotten a few and they were slipping into disrepair. Ezio admired his collection as he stacked them neatly in boxes- the man had good taste, and the manuscripts seemed quite worn; indicating that he had read them often. In an age where most people were illiterate, the Assassin found himself wondering how Antonio came to be the educated noble he was. But that would be for later, he mused, back when he had wandered his way back into his own body, to say the least.

"Rosa…I didn't know-" Ezio jumped, hearing Heraldo's voice over his shoulder. However the thief seemed to catch himself and cleared his throat nervously.

"You didn't know what?" Ezio asked in what he hoped was a irritated tone- Rosa always seemed irritated about something (at least when she was talking to him).

"…I didn't know you knew how to organize and clean so well..." he finished sheepishly, realizing how this sounded out loud and smiling nervously.

Ezio simply rolled his eyes and brushed the man off with a harsh shrug of his shoulders, moving to another corner of the studio.

Time seemed to slip by as the thieves busied themselves around the abandoned hideout, but it still couldn't have been over an hour by the time they met up at the old well in the center of the place.

"That's the last of it," Heraldo grunted as he dropped the last box, wiping his hands on his jacket. "Let's head back."

"Not so fast, _Feccia!" _A confident voice, male, burst into the _palazzo, _causing the four thieves to whirl in surprise- how couldn't they have noticed they were being watched!

The green-clad figures tensed as a large group of soldiers marched into the guild, swords already drawn. Then, when it seemed the guards were all assembled, a second character approached, a captain by the look of him. He strutted in, grinning broadly and eyeing each of the thieves (although especially Rosa, it seemed to Ezio eagle eyes) with a large measure of contempt.

"I have waited a long time for this moment, my friends," He announced loudly, grinning like a maniac, "Finally, after ten excruciating years of waiting, I have the element of surprise on _MY _side!"

"What do you want from us, _bastardo?_" Federico, a younger thief, hissed brashly, "Be out with it!"

"What do I want?" The captain repeated, now dead serious as his beady eyes seemed to enlarge, "I want my revenge!"

"Men, keep the other three busy- I want to kill the wench myself!" The order rang and was carried out swiftly, the thieves hardly having time to draw their weapons before the battle began. Ezio swallowed as the captain approached him, drawing his rapier slowly. It seemed this man had a personal vendetta with him, but Ezio could not guess for the life of him what it was.

"And so we meet again, _puttana,_" He goaded, steadying his stance firmly, "For the last time, I assure you."

Ezio's hand flew to his hip as the man grew near, ready to draw his own rapier. However his green eyes widened when he realized there was no such sword- this seemed to please his opponent greatly.

"Lost your sword, little mouse?" He laughed as Ezio frantically searched Rosa's body for a weapon of some sort. Finally he felt the handle of a blade and yanked it out, wielding it fiercely before his enemy.

He gulped and his eyes focused on the weapon- the ill-kept short blade was pitiful compared to the captain's gilted silver long sword. The guard saw this as well, as his lips curved into a wicked smile.

"Your end has come this time, whelp," He growled.

"But what of the rules of chivalry?" Ezio asked weakly.

"To hell with that!" He roared and launched into a flurry of stabs and slashes that quickly forced Ezio to dodge backwards. He attempted to keep up a defense for five long seconds before realizing that his tiny sword was not going to do much to protect him from the obviously enraged captain.

He'd _really _have to ask Rosa about that later!

Whirling around, Ezio hurled himself at one of the many ladder lining the old thieves guild rotting walls. He bounded up it hastily, hardly missing the tip of the blade that licked his boots as the captain followed.

"Come down here and fight!" He demanded, fury shaking his voice.

"To hell with that!" Ezio took a minute to remark before scrambling onto the roof. Unfortunately, his enemy was hot on his heels, hardly giving him time to escape. Ezio scowled at him, bringing up his short-sword defensively. The captain seemed none-too-pleased with his last comment, and was now approaching slowly with death gleaming in his coal eyes. Ezio felt obliged to back up, keeping out of range of the deadly arcs and lashes. However, it was just creeping into his memory how odd it was that they hadn't found any of the old gondola equipment at the guild, because he was certain it was right next to the water…

Of course, he didn't think much of it until his foot hit the edge, forcing a bit of rubble off the roof, where it made a large _sploosh _into the ocean. Both thief and authority figure glanced down in a moment of surprise. Then the captain recovered, glaring at Ezio.

"Your time has come, _cagna,_" he muttered, "You're dead."

"No, I'm Ezio Auditore," Ezio grinned, eyeing the man defiantly, "You must be thinking of someone else!"

He knew it was out of line, but he couldn't resist. Though it scared him as the man hardly even missed a beat.

"Think you're funny, do you?" he murmured, concentrating more on how many ways he could be killing the nimble thief than talking.

"I do have my moments!" Ezio replied shakily, glancing warily over the edge as he tried desperately not to tumble, "There was this one time when- Oof!"

Ezio gasped as his enemy's foot found his gut and he was knocked back, nearly flying right over the edge. Luckily, he managed to grab the gutter before he fell off completely. However this didn't put him in a very good position, with the captain standing right over him ready to pluck his dainty fingers from their precious grip. This didn't look good…Unless…

"Say goodbye, wench," The guard growled, enjoying every bit of his apparently well-deserved revenge.

"Goodbye," Ezio smiled and let go, flipping as he fell to slow the impact. He hit the water cap-first, shooting down like a torpedo. Ezio twisted, turning himself over and squinting open his green eyes in the salty water to spy the figure of his opponent on the roof, glaring down at him.

Ezio broke the surface of the tumbling waves and headed for land. He would have _quite _a few questions for Rosa when she returned to Seta!

Rosa felt like bashing her head against the wall for the millionth time that day. The assassination (if that's what you want to call it) had been clumsy, horribly carried out, and Rosa had not a single doubt in her mind that she had singlehandedly ruined the Assassin's reputation throughout all of Italy for _good. _

But Ezio didn't need to know about any of that.

The point was that she had finished the task set to her by Lorenzo de'Medici, though deciphering the scroll had been challenge enough. Antonio taught Rosa to read when she was in her late teens, yes, but that didn't make it any easier. She was used to reading the large books he had hanging around his office, things written in thick, bold print. She knew they were tales intended for children but she often read them anyway, along with one or two of the adult scripts. She had never attempted handwriting before (As her own was atrocious). But she'd still gotten it done- the Templar benefactor was long dead.

And that brought her to where she was now- leaning against the shaded pillars of Seta's courtyard, hardly visible to the casual stroller. Rosa tapped her fingers against the marble impatiently- where _was _that man? She had meant to ask him what she was supposed to do next. Rosa didn't like sitting around idly, and she was certain the man had more on his agenda than just killing. She just hoped it was something she, as a member of the female gender, would be able (or willing) to do. She gagged when she thought of the conquests he was always bragging about.

Finally, a sopping female figure dragged itself into Seta, wringing its clothes and green cap sullenly. Rosa's amber eyes locked on it immediately and she sprang from her hiding spot to interrogate him.

"Ezio!" She called out, rushing forward- though the shocked Assassin gave her a nudge when she realized several passing thieves were staring at her. An strange looking man who had just yelled out his own name for seemingly no reason. Odd, wasn't it?

"…Is my name!" She finished awkwardly.

The staring continued until the thieves finally let it go with exchanged eyebrows.

"Way to blow it, Rosa," Ezio muttered while squeezing clumps of his dark hair, "Why don't you just parade around Venice shouting that I'm a retarded idiot?"

Rosa bit her lip uncomfortably- she'd sort of already done that. However instead of elaborating she flipped the conversation on him.

"Why am I soaking wet?" She hissed anxiously, "What happened?"

"Don't you dare pin this on me," Ezio replied defensively, "I was doing my job perfectly fine until this captain _ragazzo _showed up and started hacking me to pieces like I'd killed one of his children or something."

Rosa's eyes brightened, "…Did he have an engraved sword? Beady eyes? Middle-aged, very angry?"

Now that Ezio recalled, the man actually had very few distinguishing traits, but he figured these were probably among them, "Yes, why?"

"Ah!" Rosa laughed, slapping him on the back (with much more force than she was used to, so Ezio actually yelped a bit), "I see you met my old friend Fernando!"

"His name is Fernando?" Ezio croaked, rubbing his back.

"Not really," Rosa shrugged, "I just call him that. The man hardly tells anyone his name. I doubt he even has one."

"So what's the story with you two?" Ezio frowned, "He claimed he was there for 'revenge'."

"Well," Rosa inhaled, "He was one of my first targets back when I became a thief…must've been almost…what, ten years ago?…I figured since half his money came from bribes anyway, he wouldn't be needing some- and I was a starving orphan back then. Hardly knew a thing about thievery," she chuckled, "Well, he almost caught me. Got away through the rooftops, leaving him screaming and shaking his fist at me…My next target was Antonio- he actually _did _catch me. Then she showed me the guild…" she paused slightly, "And from then on I stalked Fernando every day of the week. With help from my new-found friends, he couldn't lay a finger on me."

"And so you taunted him." Ezio guessed, raising his eyebrows.

"Mmm, something like that," Rosa winced, "I guess…he must've noticed you doing something I wouldn't do…And thought it would be a good time to attack."

"Well, that explains why he was out to get you," Ezio sighed, "And how did your assassination go?"

"Oh, fine," Rosa shrugged, "It wasn't that difficult- but now I must ask: Is there anything else for you to do today?"

Ezio thought for a moment, rubbing a thin finger against his chin, "…Yes, I was supposed to visit Leonardo today…You'd better go or he'll worry."

"You can't be serious," Rosa mumbled flatly, "I hardly know the man!"

"Hey!" Ezio snapped, "Leonardo is like a brother to me! I'd appreciate it if you'd try to make nice, for once!"

"It's not that I don't like him, Ezio," Rosa flinched, stung by the Assassin's outburst, "…It's that…well…I've never had a friend as truly as you have Leonardo."

The thief's gaze lowered in either sadness or shame. Rosa sighed, and Ezio was silent, looking down in defeat. He'd never counted on that… He hardly knew anything about Rosa's childhood, and he didn't mean to shout at her… In a soft moment of regret, his pale hand brushed her tan one.

"It's alright, Rosa," he said quietly, gazing up into his own golden eyes, "You'll always have me."

"Ezio," she chuckled, pushing him away, "Alright, you've talked me into it. I'll go see him… What were you to discuss?"

Ezio pursed his lips, thinking, "Eh…Ask him how his machine is coming along. He enjoys talking about it, and it should take his mind off you a while."

"Machine…?" She repeated suspiciously.

Ezio waved her off, "You'll see when you get there. As for me…I'll talk to Antonio. Maybe, as you, I can convince him to let you stay another night. Although he should do so anyway, as we are all part of the Brotherhood…"

"Alright," Rosa nodded, "and when should I return?"

"If my memory is correct," Ezio's brow furrowed as he thought hard, "One of the guild members usually contacts me when I am summoned. To keep suspicion off, try to stay away for as long as you can. I or another thief will come get you when it's time- if no one arrives, you can sneak back into the room I used last night."

"_Intesi,_" Rosa replied almost at once. Then her face broke into a lopsided grin, "You are quite the strategist, Ezio! I never would have guessed…"

Ezio looked tired, but smiled back, "Desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend. See you soon."

"And hope we'll get out of this mess," Rosa tacked on as she turned to leave. She knew the way to Leonardo's studio, sure, but that wouldn't make this any less challenging…


	6. Challenging

Rosa paused at the door, taking a deep breath and all the courage it brought with it. The wooden carvings on the entrance to Da Vinci's studio stared back expectedly, waiting patiently for her to raise her gloved fist and thump twice. Rosa had only been here…what, twice in her life? Leonardo was useful to the Assassins because of his genius, but it was clear Ezio visited him often for more than that. It seemed as though the two were nearly childhood friends- something Rosa had remarkably few of.

Before entering she tried to muster up everything she knew about Ezio's behavior. If she did anything odd at all, Leonardo would be the first, and possibly only, one to realize it. She closed her eyes and thought: calm, sly, collected, and smug. That's what she thought of him- so that's what she would have to emulate. Although when he was with Leonardo…Perhaps he acted differently…Which brought her worried thoughts to spirals.

Finally she shook herself and simply dropped her fist, knocking on the door twice, as was Ezio's signature knock. She waited patiently for someone to open it for her.

Seconds passed. There was a bit of muffled rustling on the other side, but nothing particular. Rosa tensed, anxious. Why hadn't he come? Was something wrong? Was Leonardo even home? She tapped her huge foot nervously as seconds stretched into minutes and still no one came to open the door for her.

Finally the painter's voice muffled an inquiry.

"Ezio?" It called uncertainly, "Is something wrong? Come in already!"

Rosa groaned quietly as she pushed it open- of course. Ezio just barges in everywhere… Why hadn't she guessed? Leonardo was probably used to it by now, anyway.

"Leonardo," Rosa nodded at him as she entered, brushing her cape. Leonardo beamed at her, blue eyes sparkling energetically. She bit back a laugh at his appearance- the man was splattered head to foot in red paint, which a small apron was trying its hardest to protect him from. His hands were smothered, so clearly he had been doing something with his fingers… but what Rosa couldn't guess for her life what it was.

Then the stench hit her.

It was as potent as a punch in the gut, such a remarkable smell. The air in the studio seemed to thicken and clot the deeper in she went, the odor something like raw sewage mixed with something gritty and metallic. Faintly, she felt she'd smelled it somewhere before, but that was hardly at the top of her mind at the moment.

"Ezio!" The blonde artist called happily, waving his hands- which Rosa was beginning to suspect harbored something other than paint, "You must come see this! I've made such a wonderful find!"

"Leonardo, what is that smell?" Rosa yelled through her sleeves, using one hand to haphazardly fan the air around her.

"That's what I want you to see!" Leonardo nearly giggled with excitement, "It's in the back room."

"What is?" Rosa asked cautiously- but no sooner had she asked her question that the scientist whirled on his heels and sped away. Rosa shrugged- she would've sighed but that would have involved breathing in the tainted air- and decided it would be better just to wing this one and follow Leonardo to whatever he wished to show her.

She hastily made her way to the back room and pushed back the slightly ajar door.

Brown eyes widened in revulsion and her skin turned a slight greenish tint.

"Look at this!" Leonardo bubbled happily, shoving a vital organ under her nose, "Would you ever believe something up to thirty yards long could fit inside a single person?"

For on the examination desk in the dusty, oddly-used room- sat an old, rotting corpse. A clean cut down its middle spread blood and guts everywhere, but Leonardo seemed to be doing a good job labeling and keeping track of most of the vitals. A few bones were sticking out from the bloody muscles at odd angles. And the stench intensified greatly.

It took all of her willpower not to be sick on the spot.

Leonardo frowned at her silence- it was clear he had expected a more noteworthy reaction.

"Ezio?" He asked worriedly, "Are you alright?"

"Leonardo?" She croaked, staring at him in pure terror, "I think I'll go wait for you outside."

"But you'll miss the best parts!" Leonardo complained as Rosa backed slowly out of the room. Eventually the painter merely shrugged and turned back to the dissection, but not before Rosa and the water basin became acquainted. She doubted anyone heard her lunch come up, as several minutes passed and Leonardo didn't return.

"_Mio Dio,_" She gasped raggedly, "And this is Ezio's greatest friend?"

She took a few more minutes to gather herself, then stood and headed for the backroom. Naturally it was the last place she wanted to go, but she figured if she was leaving she'd better inform the artist first- she hardly wanted to face Ezio's wrath later on.

"Leonardo?" She asked lightly, nosing her way into the workroom, "I think I'll come back when you aren't as busy…_bene?_"

"Nonsense!" She heard the man retort, "I'm almost finished anyway, I'd much rather take a look at the codex you've brought me!"

Codex? Rosa frowned, thinking hard. She remembered Ezio mentioning such a Codex a few times… But she hardly recalled what it was about. What relevance it had to the current situation. She shook her head, preparing a response.

"How long do you think it'll take to…" She paused, glancing down at the corpse and shivering in utter revulsion, "…to finish…whatever you're doing?"

"Well…" Leonardo sighed, and she heard a slight clink as he put down whatever sharp tool he was using, "Honestly, I did want to finish right away, while the body is still fresh…Perhaps you _should _come back tomorrow."

He didn't need to think twice- Rosa was out the door before he'd finished his last syllable.

Meanwhile, things hadn't been progressing much better at the thieves' guild. Ezio took the first opportunity he could to get alone with Antonio, and that happened to be helping the man furnish his new office. The Assassin smirked as he passed piles of wood shavings and half-formed figures on the master thief's desk- clearly a new model of Venice was on its way.

Apparently he'd been doing a good job of playing Rosa's character, as most of the thieves left him alone. Even Antonio didn't seem to suspect anything, though he was a bit surprised that Rosa wanted to speak with him. Only a bit though, Ezio related sweetly. He might just get out of this after all…

"Rosa," Antonio sighed as he took a seat at the desk, "What is it you wanted to talk about? Has something been bothering you?"

Ezio didn't answer right away. Instead he put down the box of books he was carrying and bit his lip, considering carefully how to form his request.

Antonio misunderstood his silence.

"Is it about this morning?" He asked cautiously, "I heard what happened…Nasty stuff. Luckily everyone got out alive, though."

"It's not that, Antonio," Ezio replied quickly, approaching the master thief warily, "…It's sort of…difficult to bring up."

"Is this about Ezio?" Antonio asked flatly, eyebrow raised.

"No," Ezio smiled in amusement, "I can handle _him _myself."

"Indeed," Antonio chuckled, "I remember the last man you handled yourself…"

Ezio blinked- but quickly recovered with an annoyed glance. What had happened to Rosa's last boyfriend? He packed up the question and stowed it carefully for his return to his original body.

"So then, what is this about?" Antonio asked again, charcoal eyes glinting as he looked up at his foster-daughter warmly.

"Well, actually," Ezio smiled nervously- he hadn't realized his effort to stay in character had just screwed his actual intentions, but he tried anyway, "It does have _something _to do with the man…"

Antonio nodded, gesturing for her to continue.

"He has informed me that he's going to be in this area of Venice for a little while longer," His green eyes flitted around the room as he scribbled down the rest of his story in his mind hastily, "And he just wanted to know if it'd be alright for him to use the room he used last night…for a couple of days."

"Use it for what?" Antonio frowned, folding his hands uncomfortably on his desk, "Because if he thinks I don't know about his little adventures…"

"It's nothing like that," Ezio assured him, deeply offended inside, though being careful not to let it show, "He merely wants to sleep there."

"Alone," Antonio asked skeptically, "And you're sure of this." If it was a question, it certainly didn't sound like one.

"Yes, naturally," Ezio replied coldly.

With that Antonio seemed defeated. He shrugged, sighing as he adjusted his seat in his desk.

"Well, I suppose it's no problem here," he said honestly, "Ezio is a brother, after all. I'm more worried about you, Rosa."

Ezio hadn't been expected this. He'd been getting a lot of sympathy for the female thief lately. They all treated her as though she were slowly falling in love with a haughty, cheating womanizer!

"I'll be fine, Antonio," He sighed with genuine annoyance, "Why is everyone so worried about me?"

"Rosa, please don't take this the wrong way," Antonio began, clearing his throat, "But…The man is used to telling one girl he loves her, then sleeping with another. We all care about you, Rosa…and we don't want to see you heartbroken."

Ezio felt a piece of himself chip away and he fought to keep his expression blank. Is that what they all thought of him? Is that what _Rosa_ thought of him? Was he really just the petty heartbreaker with the pretty face? He'd never pictured himself like that…

Antonio sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. Ezio studied his figure in the dying sunlight with sad, green eyes. After a long, thoughtful silence, he figured out what to say.

"Thank you for your concern, Antonio," he said softly, "But I assure you. I'll be _fine_."

"Yes, I know," Antonio nodded distantly, "silly of me to worry."

Ezio nodded back and turned to leave, but Antonio seemed to have one more request.

"…Rosa?" He asked hesitantly, and the Assassin turned back.

"…yes?" Ezio led on when it seemed nothing was happening.

"This might seem like a bit of a silly question…" Antonio chuckled slightly and stood, moving around the desk so he was standing beside Rosa quickly, "But I just want to make sure of something…"

"And what could that be?" Ezio asked curiously, eyebrows raised.

"What did I give you for your seventeenth birthday?" Antonio asked sweetly.

Ezio paused, frowning- not only was he baffled by the nature of the question, but slowly he became concerned as he realized he hadn't a clue what the answer was.

There was silence for several seconds, which seemed to give Antonio the response he was searching for. His warm charcoal gaze quickly molded to anger and worry as he grabbed Ezio quite suddenly, the Assassin squealing as he found he couldn't move.

"Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?"


	7. It's complicated

"It's about goddamn time!" Rosa growled as she spotted the thief barreling towards her. It was already sunset and she didn't look forward to wandering Venice at night in Ezio's body.

"Messer Ezio!" the breathless novice saluted, "Antonio has requested your presence!"

Rosa nodded impatiently, "Yes, tell him I'm on my way."

She all but followed the thief back to Seta, eager to get home.

"Ah, Ezio, good to see you!" Antonio greeted her warmly at the gates of the thieves' new palace, but Rosa immediately sensed something was wrong.

"Antonio?" She asked, puzzled, "What's going on?"

"Come up to my office, I have much to discuss with you." Was all he answered, turning his back and motioning for her to follow him up the stairs. As the two made their way to the small room, Rosa did everything she could to catch his eye and form a question. However he never gave her the opportunity…

When they reached the office, Antonio pulled open the door and allowed Rosa to enter first. She frowned in confusion upon seeing herself tied to a chair in the center of the room, opposite Antonio's desk.

She continued inside, leaning against the desk casually as Antonio made his way to its opposite side. Rosa watched in bewilderment as Ezio struggled in his seat, sending her a wary look.

"This woman has been impersonating Rosa all day," Antonio explained to the white-hooded Assassin, "I just found her out a few minutes ago."

"Antonio, listen!" Ezio protested, forcing the chair to wobble a bit, "I'm not impersonating anyone! It's me, Ezio!"

"What I can't understand is why she won't tell me who she is," Antonio continued, ignoring Ezio's outburst.

Rosa paled a bit, looking nervously between Ezio's pleading glances and Antonio's cold calculations. She didn't know whether to play along or tell the truth.

"She could easily be a spy," Antonio reasoned, tapping his fingers on the wood nonchalantly, "Yes, the council would love to get their hands on my little operation, wouldn't they?"

"Antonio," Rosa cleared her throat, summoning her courage, "…She's not a spy."

"Oh, really?" The master thief turned, studying Rosa intently, "Do you know her?"

"She's…" Rosa stuttered, "…She's not even a woman."

Antonio's gaze hardened.

"Ezio, what are you saying?" He asked calmly.

"I'm not Ezio!" Rosa blurted, looking up at her mentor sheepishly, "It's me, Rosa!"

"And _I'M _Ezio!" The bound thief growled, irritably struggling against her bonds.

Antonio was silent for a moment as he processed this new and surprising information. Then he started up again, directing his questions at who he thought was the Assassin.

"Is this some sort of a joke?" He asked, glaring.

"I swear, this is no joke!" Rosa shook her head quickly, and then sighed in exasperation.

"Look, ask me anything- ask me something only Rosa would know." She suggested- the figure in the chair nodded enthusiastically.

"I think I'll start with this young woman," Antonio said, turning to Ezio. "Because I sincerely doubt you are who you say you are."

"Fine then," Ezio retorted, snorting.

Antonio cleared his throat and the trivia began.

"What is your uncle's favorite brand of wine?" He asked coolly.

Ezio thought for a moment- Mario usually drank anything he could find, he related solemnly…which meant an impersonator would probably give an exact answer. Instead-

"What isn't?" He rolled his green eyes, "Mario would drink rain-water if he thought it tasted like wine."

If Antonio was satisfied with the answer, he didn't show it. He then turned to Rosa, eyeing her suspiciously.

"And you," he began slowly, "What did I give you for your seventeenth birthday?"

Rosa paused, her eyes flitting around the room nervously. She knew the answer of course, but…

"Do I have to answer in front of that _bastardo_?" She gulped, blushing. Antonio raised his eyebrows, surprised to see the Assassino Bianco turn such a marvelous shade of pink, but nodded firmly.

She looked away, "…A notebook. To practice my alphabet in."

At Ezio's shocked expression, she quickly added, "And I've made fine progress! I could probably write as neat as a banker now!"

Antonio looked at her for a long time. There was an unsteady silence in the office, and both Assassin and thief were nearly afraid to breathe. Then, finally, Antonio pressed his hand against Rosa's arm and looked up to her.

"…Rosa?" He asked quietly, black eyes shining with tears.

"It's me, Antonio," She assured him, "Just believe us."

He embraced her suddenly, and Rosa felt odd noticing just how short her master really was. She'd always looked up to him…But being in Ezio's much taller body was beginning to take effect on her. She hugged back happily.

"I was very worried for a moment there!" Antonio laughed, pulling away, "I had no idea what had happened to you…and my mind played tricks with me, imagining things I knew couldn't be true."

"It's fine," Rosa smiled, "You are not to blame."

"Well, now that we've had our happy little reunion," Ezio grunted, kicking his legs indignantly, "May someone please _untie me?" _

Antonio turned to Ezio quizzically for a moment, as though he'd completely forgotten he was there. Then grabbed a dagger from inside his desk and set to cutting the Assassin free.

"Ugh, _grazie a Dio!_" He muttered, standing and stretching his locked arms, "I was wondering when you two would get around to it!"

There was another moment as everyone waited for the Assassin to gather himself before continuing.

"So, now we have an interesting problem," Antonio related amusedly, "If I'm understanding correctly, Ezio is stuck in the body of a female thief, and Rosa is stuck in the body of a male Assassin."

"Indeed," Rosa gritted. Ezio nodded curtly.

"So," Antonio rubbed his temples, "Do you have any idea how this could have happened?"

"Not a single clue," Ezio replied quickly, scowling, "In fact we don't even know _why _this is happening!"

"I don't want to live the rest of my life as Ezio!" Rosa complained loudly.

"Alright!" Antonio silenced Ezio before he could snap back, "Let's try backtracking. What did you do last night?"

Both were silent, apparently thinking hard. "Wasn't there…a…party, last night?"

Antonio nodded.

"There was a lot of drinking though," Ezio rubbed his chin, "I…I'm afraid I don't remember much of it."

"Were we talking?" Rosa turned to Ezio curiously, "Is it something we did, perhaps?"

Ezio shook his head, then turned to the master thief, "Antonio, do _you _remember what happened last night?"

Antonio smiled weakly, "_Mi despiaci, amici…_but…I don't remember a thing. I was as drunk as a _perdigiorno_ last night."

There was a collective sigh of disappointment and the three stood in silence, each contemplating the situation seriously. Suddenly, Ezio lit up, his eyes widening.

"What?" Rosa asked, tilting her head slightly.

"There is _one _person who could tell us what happened last night!" He exclaimed happily, straightening from his position leaning against the chair.

Antonio frowned, his thin eyebrows creasing together, "Who?"

Ugo's dark eyes darted around nervously as he closed the door to Antonio's office.

"Antonio?" He asked uncertainly, "Did you want me for something?"

"Indeed, _figiolio," _Antonio smiled widely, "We have quite an interesting situation on our hands."

"Interesting how?" Ugo frowned, approaching slowly.

"We need you to tell us what happened last night," Ezio blurted, "As you were the only one sober."

"Rosa, what do you-" Ugo began, but Rosa cut him off.

"He's not Rosa," She said loudly, "I'm Rosa."

Ugo stared at the white-robed man incredulously, "What is this?"

"Ugo," Antonio sighed, clapping a hand on the curly-haired thief's shoulder, "This is the problem I mentioned. See, somehow during the night, Ezio and Rosa switched consciousnesses."

"You expect me to believe-" he began with a shaky laugh.

"Ugo you _figlio di una cagna, chiuda la bocca cazzo _and listen!" Rosa snapped, giving the thief the evil eye.

Ugo was silent a moment, staring at the Assassin who had just insulted him with a dropped jaw.

"I am convinced." He said quietly.

"Yes," Antonio continued, "So we need to recount, as the two don't remember: what happened to them last night?"

"Last night…" he rubbed his chin, frowning, "We were drinking after the assassination of Emilio Barbarigo. You, Antonio, said you were very drunk and went off to your room. Then it was just Ezio and Rosa alone…" he swallowed.

Rosa and Ezio exchanged glances but said nothing.

"Rosa told me to go upstairs, so I did…But I stayed behind to listen."

"Then what happened?" Ezio asked anxiously.

"You…" Ugo's scowl softened, "You started arguing…Ezio said the thieves' guild didn't take its work seriously enough, and Rosa basically called him an arrogant asshole and…"

All leaned in intently.

"In the end," Ugo shrugged, "I think Ezio accused Rosa of not understanding because of her sex."

"Ah-hah!" Antonio exclaimed triumphantly, "And _there _is our problem!"

"I don't understand," Ezio stated flatly.

"Someone, may it be angels or demons, heard you that night!" Antonio explained cheerfully, "And thought it would be funny to switch you around!"

"That's not fair!" Rosa cried out, "I haven't done anything wrong!"

"If that's the case," Ezio began quickly, "then how do we get back?"

"If I had to guess…" Antonio paused a moment, then shrugged, "I would say you need to apologize. I'd bet that argument is what got you into this."

"Apologize?" Rosa snorted, "I don't think so."

"I have done nothing I regret." Ezio said, scowling.

Antonio sighed, "Maybe that is how you feel now, but in the end…It's your only way back. Perhaps time will convince you otherwise."

And with that the meeting was officially over, and each went their separate ways. An extremely confused Ugo wandered out, Antonio stayed behind, and Ezio and Rosa filed out to the courtyard. Since the situation had now been explained, Rosa (in Ezio's body) would be allowed to stay at her room in the guild with no questions asked. Ezio stayed as well, but only because he didn't dare attempt assassination in Rosa's body.

As the stars began to creep into the horizon of the city of canals, each was left with despair as a constant companion.

_AN- ugh! i hate how keeps destroying my grammar! All my indentations and breaks are missing! I HATE IT! I am literate people, even though this website hates me!_


	8. A star speckled night

Rosa stared up at the paint flecked ceiling above her with hollow eyes. She'd been trying to sleep for hours, but no matter what she did, the sweet rest she desperately wanted seemed miles away. Sighing, she sat up in the lumpy bed, glancing around Ezio's guest room boredly. She'd already examined the room's accessories and furniture thousands of time, but some part of her still hoped the extra scrutiny would draw sleep in a bit more.

It didn't.

Finally accepting that she wasn't drifting off anytime soon, she stretched her sore muscles and hopped off the bed, grabbing Ezio's torn cloak and heading for the door. Perhaps a stroll around Seta's starlit balconies would help her.

She pulled the door open and let the cool breeze brush back her dark hair. Ducking her head carefully as to not hit the doorframe, Rosa made her way across the courtyard and started for the stairs. The marble steps seemed slippery as she carefully ascended, but she figured she was simply not use to Seta's grand polishes where before there was rotting wood and dirt.

As the Assassin/thief finally reached the balconies of the second floor, she was only partly surprised to spy a green-capped figure leaning against the railing, gazing up wistfully at the full moon. At her soft footsteps the figure turned, and Rosa smiled down at her own pair of twinkling green eyes.

"Couldn't sleep?" Ezio whispered, scooting over a bit to allow Rosa to approach him on the terrace.

Rosa nodded silently and leaned into the railing, sighing. Ezio joined her, the sad look returning to his features. There was a lofty silence between the two friends as the moon continued to climb in the sky, its brilliant beams causing the city of canals to glimmer like a sea of diamonds.

"I couldn't sleep, either," Ezio admitted softly, rubbing his milky hand against the cool stone, "I kept trying, but something was keeping me up…"

"Perhaps it is fate," Rosa commented, keeping her gaze on the sky, "After all, it does seem to love us dearly."

Ezio laughed bitterly and there was another short silence.

"…You know, I still haven't gotten used to your height…" He teased, glancing up at the thief to evoke a reaction.

"Well, seeing what you see," Rosa chuckled, "I suppose I am rather short. But that doesn't excuse you from being a giant among men!"

Ezio smiled and shrugged, deciding to stretch this game out a little further, "And what of this cap of yours? The thing is so ratty and old…How do you still wear it?"

"Perhaps," Rosa began, turning to pin him with a vicious mock-glare, "It has sentimental value. Some of us are attracted to objects for reasons other than their glimmer."

"Just what are you implying?" Ezio grinned back, trying his best to keep in the shaky laughter.

"That you are one big, fat, tall, rich noble who loves money!" Rosa giggled, and before he knew it Ezio was laughing too. The two doubled up in hilarity, grasping the stone of the terrace for support as the tremors continued to shake them. The giggles went on for quite a while, drawing some sleepy stares from thieves incoming Seta after a goodnight's bounty.

Finally the laughter died down, and the two were left panting and wondering what had happened. Perhaps, after such a crazy and stressful day, a good laugh was all they needed…? There was a comfortable silence as each drew their breath back. Ezio took a step towards Rosa, looking up into her deep brown eyes lovingly.

"…I'm sorry about what I said yesterday, Rosa." He said steadily, unflinching against the eagle's gaze.

"And I am sorry about the accusations I made," Rosa replied gently, slowly wrapping her arms around Ezio's waist, "I did not mean any of it…"

Ezio welcomed Rosa's embrace and leaned his head on her chest.

"Will you forgive me…?" He asked softly, near silent. He could hear her heartbeat through the thin shirt and even through his mutilated cloak. In the back of his mind he was still angry at her about that, but such anger was easily drowned out when he heard her short chuckle. It sent warm vibrations down his back and he shuddered.

"Ezio…" She whispered, "I already have…"

At this Ezio forced himself to lift his head, raising his questioning emerald eyes to meet Rosa's. For a moment, he realized how close they were and blushed- but Rosa hardly seemed to notice. The two gazed at each other mistily until finally, Rosa leaned forward and their lips were about to brush when-

"I KNEW IT!" The two jumped apart as though they had been shocked when the scream shook the palazzo, "I KNEW IT!"

Antonio leapt out from seemingly nowhere, stabbing his finger at them accusingly-

"I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO!" He continued, hopping around in complete mania, "AM I A GENUIS OR WHAT?"

Rosa and Ezio exchanged raised eyebrows while frantically scooting away from each other.

"Oooooh! I KNEW it! Ugo owes me some FLORINS!" Rosa watched in complete revulsion as her respected mentor launched into a quite inappropriate sort of jig.

"Perhaps we ought to go back to our rooms now," Ezio suggested, rather flustered. Rosa quickly nodded and the two waddled off awkwardly, leaving Antonio to his dancing and incoherent praises.

As the moon sailed over Venice that night, neither Assassin nor thief could have felt the magic that wrapped its way around them in a soft, wispy embrace…

_AN- Next chapter is last!_


	9. Epilogue

The sun filtered through her curtains like a ray of pure honey, dancing across her eyelids playfully. Rosa stirred slightly as she adjusted to the sudden light, then slowly opened and blinked her gummy eyes. Looking around, she noticed she felt very odd. As though something were missing, or had been drastically changed. However as the haze of sleepy slowly rose from her senses, she saw that everything was just as she'd left it. She was in her new room in Seta, the one she'd already customized with tattered journals and stories, several pouches and daggers, and even her ratty old cap sat on the dresser to her right. So what was wrong?

Shrugging, Rosa decided she'd think about it after she'd had breakfast. She pushed back the thin covers and slid out of bed, the sun warming her bare legs as she stood by the window.

Suddenly, a cry rang out through the palazzo, shaking the thief considerably. However it was not a cry of pain or surprise, but- one of pure happiness…

Her curious green eyes scanned the courtyard through the window suspiciously as the source of the sound made itself known. Another shriek of mirth erupted as a tall figure danced its way into view. Peering at it in amazement, Rosa watched the man as he ran around Seta's grand palazzo, jumping for joy. There was something disturbingly familiar about his face, though, and for the life of her, Rosa was sure something was-

Suddenly it hit her.

Rosa gasped and her eyes widened until she felt they would fall out. She brought her hands to her face- her callused, pale, petite hands. She looked down at her legs and was overwhelmed to find them long and slender. Finally she simply looked down her shirt and heaved a sigh of relief.

It was over! They were back!

Now Rosa understood what Ezio was screaming about. And it took her all of thirty seconds to get downstairs and join him.

"Rosa!" Ezio shouted breathlessly upon seeing her, "ROSA!"

"EZIO!" She screamed back, as though saying his name brought her all the joy in the universe.

The two ran to each other and embraced, laughing hysterically. For a few minutes they simply gripped each other's arms and danced around, unable to control their relief in the slightest.

"It's over!" She cried, "It's all over! We're done!"

"_caro Dio,_" Ezio moaned, "How I have missed my six feet!"

Rosa responded by passionately kissing him on the lips- where Ezio didn't waste a second.

Admittedly, it was a nice scene for Antonio to wake up to. The drowsy thief opened his window and watched over the two lovingly. Now it seemed they finally understood, he mused. Antonio shook his head, grinning. Slowly, his eyes travelled to his desk drawers…Yes, no one would suspect the strange powder he'd found in there. How it found its way into their drinks that night, no one would ever know.

If anyone asked, it was coffee.

_AN- WHEW! Finally finished! So, what do you think of the twist? duh duh duh duuuuuuuuhhhh... Well, now that i'm done with this story i can finally get to work on my next idea! Which is...duhhh...You'll just have to wait to find out! _

_Thank you so much to everyone who subscribed and reviewed this story! It means a lot to me!_

_And to all you other Ass Creed fans out there...You haven't seen the last of iguanablogger...she'll be writing PLENTY more romance/humor fics about your favorite men and their girls. Just keep on the lookout for me! _

_Thank you for joining us, and don't forget to leave your review at the door!_


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